Okay, it's now official: This season is going to kill me! Ever since the finale of last season it was my biggest fear that they kill John and make Dean go dark over that event. So this episode hit right home for me and made me worry sick about Dean and where his path may lead him. I really have to have trust in the writers that they are not going to break him completely or my night sleep is seriously endangered. *g*



I enjoyed this episode's plot more than the last one, not only because I never cared much about clowns, but also because, unlike last week, the plot this time was more closely interwoven with the brothers dynamics and reflected back on them on so many different levels that it was interesting to watch how the plot unfolds.

Gordon: "See, most people spend their lives in shades of gray. Is this right? Is that wrong? Not us."

The question of good and evil, black and white and all the shades of grey in between was something brewing under the surface of last season on different occasions, mostly referring to their cases where humans were involved, like in Nightmare, Faith or The Benders, but also shortly in Dead Man's Blood and Skin from the monster's point of view, so I was glad they addressed this topic in more length here. While I think they handled a lot of the issues quite well in this episode, there’s also a bit of a simplification going on in the depiction of the black & white position of the boys, presumably in order to drive a point home, which at times doesn’t do the complexity of the characters justice.

When it comes to defined moral boundaries, I think they are kind of blurry with the Winchesters over the course of S1. While it is true that Dean was quick to suggest killing humans who abuse the supernatural for their own advantage, he was always willing to listen to his brother’s voice of moral reason, a behaviour that was echoed in Bloodlust again. On the other hand, Dean was the only one so far who showed remorse over actually killing a human, either as a direct action (Tom) or as a consequence of his actions (Meg), which isn’t always the case with Sam. Dean is also the one, who was able to relate to Sue Ann’s desperation to save her husband in Faith, while Sam was quick to classify her as evil, and while Dean didn't feel like they did the right thing, Sam does.

Sam wasn’t always on the moral high grounds in S1. I don't think he had any real remorse for saving Dean's life at the expense of a stranger's life in Faith, he apologized to Dean, but I felt that was more, because he knew how uncomfortable Dean was with the revelation. Again his conscience didn't seem to react when he watched Sue Ann die later at the hand of the Reaper, he didn't even make a move to help her or later on showed no remorse about the fact that she died, because of his intervention. He also leaves Pa Bender with Kathleen, fully suspecting that he leaves that man to die at her hands, but shows no sign of ruefulness about that either. So, Sam’s moral boundaries are skewed on occasion too, if it serves his needs or sense of justice.

Sam and Dean might not actively kill 'evil' human beings, but they certainly don't seem to have problems if they come to 'justice' through their intervention, no matter how it comes to pass, which is kind of morally murky as well, and that goes for Sam just as much as for Dean. Granted we are talking about the human factor in these cases and not about pure supernatural beings, but since Dean by extension tends to hate humans who involve themselves with the supernatural, I would transfer his ability to see shades of grey in human 'monsters' to monsters of the supernatural variety as well, if they are presented with a relatable human core, just as much as I would transfer Sam’s ability to suppress moral considerations if it suits his personal feelings.

The vampires in Bloodlust were the first supernatural creatures in SN to present a grey area within a pure 'monster' type. That nicely resonates back to Dead Man’s Blood, where Luthor already pleaded for the vampire’s right to live, but with different arguments. It’s worth pointing out though, that Dean is right when he says to Sam that killing people is in the vampire’s nature and that didn’t change with Lenore’s group. It's not that the vampires gave up feeding off humans because they came to the conclusion that killing humans is morally wrong, it’s simply a way to ascertain their own survival by avoiding to be hunted down and be killed themselves. Lenore says explicitly that they adapted, because they realized that they weren't at the top of the food chain, which clearly suggests that they would still kill humans if that was the case. So, does the fact that they quit feeding really make them less evil? What constitutes 'evil', the intention or the act?

In the end letting the vampires go sure was the right, the humane, thing to do, but it’s a risk, given that they have no moral compass to act on and could potentially revert to their old habits, if Lenore’s struggle to hold Eli in check is any indication. They let potentially dangerous creatures go, because they don't act on their intentions in a given moment, trusting in their ability to control their urges, which can be seen as a reflection of modern jurisdiction and I really love that about the episode.

As pointed out above though, I think the suggestion that Dean cannot differentiate, cannot see the shades of grey, while Sam can, is too clear cut and simplistic and doesn’t do the characters justice. It’s not even correct in this specific episode! Dean might see black (vampires=killers=evil) in this particular case but Sam doesn't see grey either, he sees white (they don't kill now=good). His approach is depicted just as simple as Dean’s. He is awfully quick to trust the vampires on the notion that they didn't kill him. They still knocked him out, kidnapped and threatened him, not exactly a peaceful course of action, when they could’ve simply approached him in human form, trying to seek out a dialogue.

Also, even when Dean is still clearly convinced about the vampire’s evilness, intent to help Gordon in vanquishing the nest, he feels appalled by Gordon torturing Lenore, able to feel sympathy at her suffering, prompting Gordon to stop. He might have felt satisfaction when he killed the vampire at the mill, but he doesn’t feel satisfaction or even indifference at seeing Lenore’s pain, not only indicating that his behaviour at the mill was influenced by other factors than pure hatred for supernatural beings, but also that he is able to see through his hate, if given the right incentive.

In conclusion: Dean clearly hates supernatural beings, a result of his life-long personal, as well as professional, experience, while Sam is usually the more reasonable, morally grounding part, in their relationship. Still, I feel that to amplify these general and not completely exclusive traits in the characters, to a point where they reduce them to black and white positions, is disserving the characters and that part of the episode disappointed me a bit. Although it has to be taken into consideration that Dean is in a particularly twisted frame of mind in the aftermath of John’s death, so his hardened stance throughout the episode can also be seen as a direct result of that.

Dean: "I can't talk about this to Sammy. No, I got to keep my game face on. But, uh, truth is I'm not handling it very well."

Dean’s character arc directly develops further from where Everybody Loves A Clown left off. He is restless, itching for a hunt, looking for a vent to all his pent up feelings and the strain to keep his emotions in check discharges violently on the first opportunity: decapitating the vampire at the mill with a raw brutality. Man, that was chilling to watch! I thought I already saw Dean’s scary face in his interrogation with Meg, but they went a step further here and personally I could have gone without that gruesome scene. It’s probably the hardest scene to digest in the whole show so far for me.

Dean’s expression of satisfaction, hate and anger when he kills that vamp is disturbing and I guess my mimics mirrored those of Sam in that moment, a mixture of deep concern, worry and horror. Dean's subsequent bleak and defiant expression when he meets Sam’s gaze tells a whole different story though, he knows he overreacted, but is nowhere near willing to share with his brother, avoiding to expose himself to another "you have to deal with Dad’s death" lecture and instead he latches onto Gordon, looking for a strong affirmative support for his self-destructive behaviour.

Dean is so used to define himself through John and his family, that he is totally lost after John’s death as to who he is as a person. He is like a drowning man, helplessly lashing about him to not go under and hurting himself and those close to him in the process. He takes to Gordon so fast, because he needs to fill the void John's death created in his life (Sam is spot on about that), but he has to realize at the end of the episode, that he has to find his own way now, taking lead instead of being led and basically growing into a man of his own.

Talking of John: When Dean in the end scene questions the rightfulness of his past killings and John’s decision to raise them to hate all supernatural beings, he takes another step to separate himself from his father’s ways. He’s finally openly able to admit to Sam that John wasn’t perfect, whereas in the last season he usually tried to defend their father’s actions and decisions towards Sam.

Gordon: "Dean, it’s not a crime to need your job."

I found the introduction of Gordon in this episode especially intriguing. He is a dark representative of what Dean could become, someone who uses his anger and hate for the hunt, being eaten away by negative emotions, reckless, relentless, nearly less human than the vampires he hunts, and I am glad that Dean realizes that and resents it. When Gordon calls him a killer just like himself, you can see that Dean doesn’t agree with that, after all, for him the hunt was always about the people he saves first and only secondly about the creatures he brings down and that’s a major difference. The hunt never was a means to an end in itself for Dean, it had a purpose beyond that, even if he momentarily can’t focus on that aspect of his job.

Like the Winchesters, Gordon was drawn into the hunting lifestyle by a personal tragedy, the guilt over the death of his sister at the hand of vampires, and Dean visibly relates to that. But unlike Dean, Gordon isn’t grounded in his family or even by a hunting partner; he’s a lone wolf who allowed his obsessions to take over and excuse any extreme action as reasonable. The way he tortured Lenore showed that he lost any point of reference for humane behaviour long ago, and while Dean certainly feels the same pull of darkness inside himself in this episode, it’s not only Sam’s influence that keeps him on track, but also his own realisation of the errors of Gordon’s ways! Dean is visibly appalled at the sight of Gordon torturing Lenore and outright shocked at his confession that he hunted down and killed his sister himself.

As an interesting sidenote: When Gordon suggests that Dean would do the same in his situation, that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Sam, if he was turned into a monster, the camera stays on Dean, while Sam and Gordon talk and he is visibly distraught at the thought, a flicker of anxiety and uncertainty crossing his expression when he looks at his brother. This short moment was too obvious to not be of any significance, and it brings up the speculation that the secret John told Dean entails Sam going evil at some point and Dean having to fight his own brother! :(

Anyway, I love Dean’s instant reaction to Gordon threatening Sam with the knife and how he finally sides again with his brother, shaking off Gordon’s influence over him. The fight between Dean and Gordon was great, a nice visual for Dean fighting down his own darkness in the form of Gordon. Meeting the other hunter was a lecture in self-reflection for Dean, which he really needed in order to see where his self-destructive behaviour may lead him!

Sam: "Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory."

Another vital part of Dean’s self-reflection process is grounded in his brother though. I loved Sam in this episode more than ever for his devotion, loyalty and love for Dean. I like the reversal of roles we see in this season a lot. Last season I was always grateful for Dean being at Sam’s side, supportive, a rock, keeping him grounded, helping him to deal with Jessica’s death and keeping him from burning out over his guilt and need for revenge. Sam needed Dean and he was there, steady and stable. This season Sam is doing the same for Dean and I am very grateful for that.

It’s important to remember though that Sam lost his father too and since Dean is spiralling out of control, he has to deal with his feelings of grief and guilt on his own, in addition to his worry about his brother, which makes his efforts especially admirable. He’s visibly unhappy with Dean’s quick bond with Gordon, trusting a stranger over Sam. He loves Dean, but 22 years as the younger and protected sibling didn’t quite prepare him to handle his brother's fragile psyche, and he is pushing too hard and corners Dean, which gets him exactly nowhere with his brother.

When he cuts right through Dean’s defence mechanisms and calls him on his true feelings, Dean just loses his composure and hits him! I have to say that caught me by surprise, even though I should have foreseen that. He moved on from verbal hits against Sam in Everybody Loves A Clown to physical one’s in Bloodlust, his reaction to Sam’s concern escalating in the same fashion as the rest of his behaviour in this episode. I love Sam’s collected reaction to the hit, clearly seeing it for what it is, and neither hitting back nor backing down from his position and in the end his persistence does come through to his brother.

Sam: "Guess I have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then!"

The final scene with Dean being unable to simply apologize to Sam for hitting him, asking him to hit him back instead, and Sam’s amused reaction to Dean’s proposal was just adorable. ♥ And while Dean did a lot of talking to the wrong guy in this episode, in the end he is able to talk to Sam again and the sincerity in this little exchange with Sam, gives me hope that Dean will come through this.

It’s interesting that Dean’s admission that his instincts tell him to kill every supernatural being echoes his sentiment that it is the instinct of the vampire to kill every human, but in the end both didn’t act on their instincts, affirming Lenore’s hope that both sides can change. Sam’s quiet reassurance that Dean didn’t kill Lenore is what matters in the end was heart-warming. He clearly feels sympathy at Dean’s self-doubt and tries to show him that he always has the choice.

Dean’s acknowledgment of his violent feelings and his active examinations of his motivations and fears, when he has his little heart to heart with Sammy, was an important step for Dean. Only if he realizes what is happening he can fight it and actively decide to not go down the route Gordon did. He might be like him, he might be not like him, but it’s in his reach to act than rather let it happen and that gives him the advantage, especially with Sam at his side.

What else was noteworthy?
Apart from the excellent, yet scary character stuff we saw in this episode, it also provides us with a lot of fun scenes. Let’s face it, the first 10 minutes of the episode were a pure fangirl heaven! A spooky moonlight chase scene that ends with a gruesome decapitation, very nice! The return of the Impala! Damn, did they celebrate that moment. The camera work and lighting in that scene was a pure tribute to the love the fandom & creators of the show have for the car. And 'Back in Black', c’mon there couldn’t possibly be a more fitting song for that scene, that was just AWESOME!

Two changes of costumes within five minutes was just delightful, as was the banter between the brothers during the morgue scene, plus 'Silence of the Lambs' references! I mean what more can a girl ask for? ♥ Even though the viewer (and Sam apparently) is aware of the fact that Dean is indeed wearing a game face here (but with much more success than in the last episode), I couldn’t help but enjoy this first 10 minutes thoroughly, for the moments of light-heartedness it brought into the ongoing drama of this season.

Unlike many others I am not very keen on seeing Whedonverse actors in Supernatural, for different reasons, I like to see SN as far away from the Jossverse as possible, but I can say I really enjoyed Amber Benson as Lenore. She did a convincible job, in fact I wouldn’t necessarily have recognized her instantly, which always is a good sign, acting wise. On a sidenote: I was particularly fond of the actor who played the Sheriff, sometimes SN comes up with this small side characters that are lovable and fun on the spot (Jerry from Phantom Traveller comes to mind) and this character was one of them, lively and tangible in one short scene.

So far season two managed to exceed my expectations, which makes me very happy, since I tend to be overly pessimistic. Even with the stuff I feared the most for this season, the way it plays out on the screen so far is re-assuring. I love SN for many reasons, and one of it is, that despite what the boys go through, even if it is as scary and disturbing as in this episode, the show very rarely ends without Sam and Dean coming clear with each other to a certain extent.

And last but not least:
Gordon: "Lighten up a little, Sammy!"
Sam: "He (nods in Dean’s direction) is the only one who gets to call me that!" ♥ ♥

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Did you notice? The orderly’s name in the morgue is J. Manners, which of course refers to director Kim Manners and Dean addresses him as Jeff/John, which are JDM's/Daddy Winchester's names.